The Beaches of Barksdale
by Lawndale Stalker
Summary: Helen declares a family bonding day at the beach. Daria REALLY doesn't want to go.


11/11/01 I'm currently working on Part 3 of BLOOD OATH OF PATRIOTS, but this story popped into my head and wanted out. So I'm going to post it here in parts, and ask you all to be my beta readers. I'm particularly interested in whether I got the characters and their family interrelationships right. The rest of the story will be along very quickly, I promise. Oh, and I'm posting this in MS Word format, to see how it works. -GH  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
1 THE BEACHES of BARKSDALE  
  
PART 1  
  
1.1.1.1 TO BOND A MOCKINGBIRD  
  
by  
  
1.2 GALEN HARDESTY  
  
  
  
  
  
Daria Morgendorffer sat on the sofa in the Morgendorffer family room, remote in hand, hopefully flipping through the channels one more time. "Sixty-seven channels, and nothing on." she muttered.  
  
The front door opened and Helen Morgendorffer entered, briefcase in hand.  
  
"Great news, Daria. We're going to the beach next Saturday!"  
  
"That's nice, Mom. Have a good time. Bring me back a seashell."  
  
"You're going with us."  
  
"That won't be necessary. I'll just burn myself on the stove while you're gone. You can bring back a bucket of beach sand, and I'll stuff a handful in my crotch, and you guys can throw the rest of it at me, and it'll be just like I was really there. That way you'll be able to devote your full attention to bonding with Quinn all day, or until you're bankrupt, whichever comes first."  
  
"That's very amusing, Daria. I'm sure your dry but sparkling wit will help to make the day a memorable one."  
  
"You'll have to ask Jane about that. She'll be the main beneficiary of it. We'll be touring museums Saturday, remember?"  
  
"No, you won't, Daria. You'll be at the beach with us."  
  
"Mom, Jane and I have had this trip planned for two months. I told you about it then. I told you again two weeks ago when we made our hotel reservations."  
  
Damn. Helen did vaguely remember Daria saying something like that about two weeks ago. That would make this more difficult. "I'm sorry, Daria, but you'll have to reschedule."  
  
"We can't reschedule. For several reasons, this is the only time both Jane and I can go. You reschedule."  
  
"I can't. This is, uh, the only time I'll be able to get completely away in the foreseeable future."  
  
Daria was starting to get a bad feeling. "Well, I don't see any problem. You guys go to the beach, Jane and I go to the museums, we meet back here Sunday evening, everybody's happy."  
  
"Daria, we're a family. We do things as a family. That's how we stay a family."  
  
"That's funny. I thought we stayed a family by caring about and respecting one another."  
  
"Daria, we need this time together to communicate with one another, to bond with one another. You will go with us."  
  
Daria rose and stalked out. "I am NOT going to rearrange my entire life every time YOU get a wild hair up your...  
  
"DARIA! YOU ARE GOING TO THE BEACH WITH US AND THAT'S FINAL!!"  
  
  
  
Preparatory to ducking dinner, Daria had come downstairs to forage when she'd heard Helen enter her bedroom to change. She was seated at the table eating a hot dog when Helen came in. Resolutely ignoring her mother, Daria stolidly munched and swallowed, occasionally sipping from a glass of juice.  
  
"I want you to get a new swimsuit, Daria."  
  
Following an interval of silence, Helen tried again. Daria, did you hear me? I want you to get a new swimsuit, and I want you to let Quinn help you pick out something attractive."  
  
That word again. "What do you mean, "attractive"? Something that draws flies?"  
  
"You're being ridiculous."  
  
"Something that displays my bait to best advantage?"  
  
Helen bit back an angry retort, smoothed her facial expression with a hand. "If you insist on phrasing it that way, Daria, yes."  
  
Daria pulled out the neck of her raw sienna pullover shirt, peered inside. "Something with large magnifying glasses mounted on the top part?"  
  
Pointedly not responding, Helen rose to refill her two-thirds full coffee cup.  
  
Jake entered with the paper, sat down at the table. "Hi there, kiddo. Err.. whatcha doin'?"  
  
Daria, one hand down the front of her shirt, looked up from groping about on her dorsal surface. "Looking for my bait. Mom wants to take it to the beach and troll for morons with it."  
  
Jake opened his mouth, then noticed the violet glow of ionization in a line between Helen's eyes and Daria's. How either of them could stand up to the other's glare he didn't know. Many a time his shields had buckled and collapsed beneath the onslaught of Helen's ravening beams, and he knew that Daria's main battery was already every bit as powerful. Abandoning the Sun- Herald as useless against such hellish energies, he lifted off and engaged full reverse thrust.  
  
"Jake, tell..."  
  
"Gotta go check the worm-and-pinion gear on the Lexus!" and he was through the dining room door, on emergency boost for the relative safety of the garage.  
  
"Wait, Dad, that's in here," Daria called after him. "I'm the worm and Mom's got me pinioned."  
  
Helen disregarded Daria's droll attempt to feign weakness. She'd already taken several hits from Daria's sarcasm, while Daria was unscathed. "Why can't she cooperate cheerfully for once?" she thought angrily. Well, cooperate she would, one way or another. The family needed to spend some time together, to talk and share and grow closer. That was much more important than Daria's little trip. Why couldn't she see that?  
  
Daria reviewed her strategy and surveyed the tactical position. She knew this battle was lost before it had begun, as far as Helen's stated objective went. All she could do was make it a Pyrrhic victory for Helen, make her pay as high a price as possible, in as many ways as possible, as a possible deterrent against future violations. She must make Helen say, after Pyrrhus himself, "Another such victory and I am undone!" Daria came about and fired another full spread into her foe.  
  
"So let me see if I've got this straight. You want to trample on my rights, which you have sworn to protect as an officer of the court. You want to cancel my long-established plans, kidnap me and drag me where I have no desire to go. Once there you intend to strip me as near to naked as the law allows and display my physical inadequacies to the world on a crowded public beach. And to make sure my humiliation is total, you'll stand me next to Quinn. Who gets to hold the sign pointing out that she's my younger sister? Oh, yeah, and then you say, "Go on and have fun now, dear." And you expect this to foster a deeper, more meaningful relationship between us?  
  
"Good grief, Daria, we're talking about a day at the beach here! One lousy day for family togetherness! You need to adopt a more positive attitude!"  
  
"We're talking about you stealing my weekend of museum crawling with Jane! Memories we would have treasured the rest of our lives! Something we can never have now, because she will have already seen them! You need to adopt a blue-ass baboon and leave me alone!" Before Helen had finished parsing that apparent non sequitur, Daria was out the side patio door and gone.  
  
Helen stared at the door, feeling furious and sad at the same time. Why the hell did she have to have plans this weekend? Daria almost never had plans! She sighed. The gold card probably wouldn't do it this time.  
  
  
  
Jane opened the door to Daria's knock. "Come on in. This is Liberty Hall. You can spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something my weird great-uncle used to say. I don't want to wear out "mi casa es su casa".  
  
Daria smiled and shook her head as she stepped in. "Ah, Jane. Who else could make me smile when I'm in this foul a mood?"  
  
"Ms. Li getting run over by a garbage truck?  
  
"That would do it."  
  
Jane grinned. "Chum on. Tell Auntie Jane what's got her widdo Dawia all upset!"  
  
Daria's smile vanished. "I can't go with you this weekend. I have to go to the beach with the psychopaths."  
  
Jane's face fell. "Oh, crap! Well, come on and tell me about it." She put a hand on Daria's shoulder and steered her toward the stairs.  
  
1.2.1 Coming real soon- Part 2 Busting up Cashman's! 


End file.
